SUNYLGBTQ2AI MATTERS

A space for sharing stories, ideas, and concerns for the SUNY LGBTQ2AI community.

Being “Feminine” Can Be a Double-Edged Sword for Bisexual Men

shoes

Photo by Tim Gerken

“The party, a swanky roof-top affair in New York City, was called “On Top.” I was feeling even more on-top than most, considering the 9-inch, Jeffery Campbell heels I was wearing. I also had on my one-of-a-kind black sequin jacket—the one that, when the designer said, “It’s vintage,” I said, “Say no more.”

“My face was painted club-kid chic, and, despite my broad shoulders, I moved around with a certain sassy elegance: All-in-all, I was definitely serving some femme realness. Alone, I blended in quite nicely with the queer mosaic of the crowd. However, I was with my ex-girlfriend, and as we passionately made our bodies and lips into one on the dancefloor, it wasn’t my look that was turning people’s heads. It was the juxtaposition of my femme presentation with the clear fact that I was getting hot and heavy with a woman.

‘I’m bisexual, and though I’ve never once identified as gay (not even when I came out as a teenager 10 years ago), that label is an assumption I face regularly—especially from those who’ve known me when I’ve been dating men. That I don’t mind playing up my femme side from time to time doesn’t help either. Suffice it to say, the looks of confusion my ex and I were greeted with that night were not the first I’ve received.”

Read More: Eliel Cruz

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This entry was posted on August 13, 2015 by in BISEXUAL MATTERS, CULTURE MATTERS: ART, LOVE and tagged , , .
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